Tomorrow is the day. Dale has his biopsy in Omaha tomorrow. I read up on this biopsy and honestly, it sounds awful. Seems that with all the stress one must go through, knowing they have to have a biopsy and what the outcome could be, they would try to make it as painless as possible, but he told me there is no anesthesia involved.
He saw the specialist about a month ago and given his very high PSA result, the doctor said the next step was a prostate biopsy. We had to wait this long because the doctor was out of town. So finally the time is here. It will take a week to get the results.
We haven't talked about it much, he doesn't like to think about it too much I assume. He said that there is nothing we can do about it no matter what the outcome so there's no point dwelling on it. I'm not made that way. I like to talk it out, be prepared, discuss options, plans. But I have to respect the fact that he's not made that way.
Honestly, I seriously doubt that nothing is wrong. His PSA was way too high for this to be just a fluke so my mind goes to the future. Surgeries, treatments.....it's all very scary. He could die from this and I know that. I worry about the kids most. They are so young. They will have so many changes in their little lives. The best case scenario, if he does have cancer, is that he will have to have surgery, treatments, etc...and they will be affected even by this. They don't know anything right now, they don't even know that he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow.
I am taking care of mom now, and of course the kids. I will take care of him as well but honestly the thought of so much caregiving overwhelms me. I am a strong person but I'm going to have to pull alot of strength out of me that right now I am unaware that I have! I have to stay positive, for all of them and hope that I can find strength and support from my friends and family. I have a few friends here, but most of my support lives far away...
So please pray. For Dale, for the kids, for me...I will update as soon as I know more. Tomorrow will be tough for him, painful. He is strong and that is good. Your prayers and support are greatly appreciated.
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Just the rantings and ravings of a stay at home mom...
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1 comment:
Hi Rebecca,
My heart goes out to you. I understand being the caretaker. I had Mom here when she died and as soon as she was gone I had to be the caretaker of Dad who lived here for 8 months before he passed. It wasn't easy but it was a blessing - for all of us. You do need to be strong but you need to rely on God to supply your strength. Don't try to do it on your own. I didn't have a ton of local support either but honestly I think God wanted me to rely more on him.
My Dad had prostate cancer for 15 years and chose the "watchful waiting" option. He treated alternatively and by the time he was diagnosed with his (completely unrelated) colon cancer which killed him in the end, the PSA was back to normal. It had also been very high at diagnosis - how high is Dale's? Do some research - I don't think prostate cancer is one that demands a quick decision on treatment in most cases.
Please keep in touch on how things are going and if you ever want to talk, I am here...it would never be a bother for me to talk or just to lend a sympathetic ear if you just need to vent. I often felt there was no place to do that and it was one of the hardest parts. (((hugs)))
Love, Kari
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