Tomorrow is the day. Dale has his biopsy in Omaha tomorrow. I read up on this biopsy and honestly, it sounds awful. Seems that with all the stress one must go through, knowing they have to have a biopsy and what the outcome could be, they would try to make it as painless as possible, but he told me there is no anesthesia involved.
He saw the specialist about a month ago and given his very high PSA result, the doctor said the next step was a prostate biopsy. We had to wait this long because the doctor was out of town. So finally the time is here. It will take a week to get the results.
We haven't talked about it much, he doesn't like to think about it too much I assume. He said that there is nothing we can do about it no matter what the outcome so there's no point dwelling on it. I'm not made that way. I like to talk it out, be prepared, discuss options, plans. But I have to respect the fact that he's not made that way.
Honestly, I seriously doubt that nothing is wrong. His PSA was way too high for this to be just a fluke so my mind goes to the future. Surgeries, treatments.....it's all very scary. He could die from this and I know that. I worry about the kids most. They are so young. They will have so many changes in their little lives. The best case scenario, if he does have cancer, is that he will have to have surgery, treatments, etc...and they will be affected even by this. They don't know anything right now, they don't even know that he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow.
I am taking care of mom now, and of course the kids. I will take care of him as well but honestly the thought of so much caregiving overwhelms me. I am a strong person but I'm going to have to pull alot of strength out of me that right now I am unaware that I have! I have to stay positive, for all of them and hope that I can find strength and support from my friends and family. I have a few friends here, but most of my support lives far away...
So please pray. For Dale, for the kids, for me...I will update as soon as I know more. Tomorrow will be tough for him, painful. He is strong and that is good. Your prayers and support are greatly appreciated.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Gracie
When our cat, Gracie, died I was so moved by the outpouring of love and sympathy that I received from my friends and family. I began thinking about our short time with Gracie and realized what a special, different kitty she was. I wanted to share this story as it actually is quite interesting!
In the summer of 2006 my dad decided he wanted to get a cat. He had been a few years without a cat, since his kitty, Katie, had passed away. He was ready. I encouraged him to get two cats, because he is very active and gone from his house and they could keep each other company. He asked me to pick out some kitties at the shelter for him and of course I was thrilled to do so!
So the kids and I headed to the shelter and took a look around. I'm the soft heart, always looking for the needy ones, and the ones with special stories. The first kitty we found was Spook, an all black cat. I was told that black cats were hard to adopt out, because of superstitions, so of course I took him. The next cat I saw was a baby kitten, not even weaned. Her mom had died and they were bottle feeding her. I decided I had to have her, for us...she was beautiful! Little Sophie. Then, realizing what a sucker I was, they showed me Gracie. She was a little older than Spook, but probably only a few months old. Her mother had Feline Distemper when she was pregnant, and she and all the other kittens had died. Gracie was the only one who survived. She was a little funny looking but seemed sweet enough. That was enough for me. I took her.
When we got them home, after a week or so, I figured out that Gracie must be deaf. Since Dad is blind, I decided that would not make a good combination, so we decided that Sophie and Spook would go with Dad and we would keep Gracie. She was very shy, would run away from people, when she walked she would bob and weave, almost like she was drunk. Her head would sway from side to side, she couldn't climb on anything. She could barely make it up the stairs.
I took her to the vet to have her checked out, shots, etc. He said she would probably always be this way, would be unable to get on furniture, climb the gate (to get to the "kitty room"). It was amazing that she had survived this long and probably would not live to be very old. She would always be "reclusive" and not to worry about her...at least we had saved her life and she would have a safe, good home.
Boy was he wrong. Within weeks of arriving at our house, the bobbing and weaving had almost stopped, she was climbing the stairs, chasing the other cats, I think she mimicked the other cats and that's how she learned to behave. She still didn't like people at all, but she loved the other cats and played and cuddled with them all the time.
We never paid that much attention to Gracie, I guess, she just "resided" here. Because she didn't like people it was hard to bond with her. But she was happy and beautiful.
A few weeks before Gracie died, I had noticed a slight change in her behavior. She had lost some weight, she wasn't playing with the other kitties as much. But with her, it's so hard to tell, since she won't let us close to her. When the kids and I were out of town, Dale texted me and told me that Gracie was going fast. She had stopped eating and drinking completely and was not being very mobile. By the time we got back to town (2 days later) she was not moving around at all. She way lying in the kitchen, under the kitchen table. I could tell she was just barely alive, her eyes were open and her breathing was shallow. I got the kids settled in, explained what was happening and sat on the floor next to her and called my dad.
She lived for about 30 more minutes, my dad stayed on the phone with me the whole time, of course...that's just the way he is. Gracie moved around a few times, just slightly. Then all of a sudden she started "making muffins". Her little paws moved back and forth, I think she was trying to comfort herself. Moments later she took a deep breath and sighed. It was over.
She lived a good life. A strange life, I will admit, but she loved the other kitties. She wasn't supposed to live at all and she touched us very deeply. She had a purpose and she was a good kitty....she will be missed.
In the summer of 2006 my dad decided he wanted to get a cat. He had been a few years without a cat, since his kitty, Katie, had passed away. He was ready. I encouraged him to get two cats, because he is very active and gone from his house and they could keep each other company. He asked me to pick out some kitties at the shelter for him and of course I was thrilled to do so!
So the kids and I headed to the shelter and took a look around. I'm the soft heart, always looking for the needy ones, and the ones with special stories. The first kitty we found was Spook, an all black cat. I was told that black cats were hard to adopt out, because of superstitions, so of course I took him. The next cat I saw was a baby kitten, not even weaned. Her mom had died and they were bottle feeding her. I decided I had to have her, for us...she was beautiful! Little Sophie. Then, realizing what a sucker I was, they showed me Gracie. She was a little older than Spook, but probably only a few months old. Her mother had Feline Distemper when she was pregnant, and she and all the other kittens had died. Gracie was the only one who survived. She was a little funny looking but seemed sweet enough. That was enough for me. I took her.
When we got them home, after a week or so, I figured out that Gracie must be deaf. Since Dad is blind, I decided that would not make a good combination, so we decided that Sophie and Spook would go with Dad and we would keep Gracie. She was very shy, would run away from people, when she walked she would bob and weave, almost like she was drunk. Her head would sway from side to side, she couldn't climb on anything. She could barely make it up the stairs.
I took her to the vet to have her checked out, shots, etc. He said she would probably always be this way, would be unable to get on furniture, climb the gate (to get to the "kitty room"). It was amazing that she had survived this long and probably would not live to be very old. She would always be "reclusive" and not to worry about her...at least we had saved her life and she would have a safe, good home.
Boy was he wrong. Within weeks of arriving at our house, the bobbing and weaving had almost stopped, she was climbing the stairs, chasing the other cats, I think she mimicked the other cats and that's how she learned to behave. She still didn't like people at all, but she loved the other cats and played and cuddled with them all the time.
We never paid that much attention to Gracie, I guess, she just "resided" here. Because she didn't like people it was hard to bond with her. But she was happy and beautiful.
A few weeks before Gracie died, I had noticed a slight change in her behavior. She had lost some weight, she wasn't playing with the other kitties as much. But with her, it's so hard to tell, since she won't let us close to her. When the kids and I were out of town, Dale texted me and told me that Gracie was going fast. She had stopped eating and drinking completely and was not being very mobile. By the time we got back to town (2 days later) she was not moving around at all. She way lying in the kitchen, under the kitchen table. I could tell she was just barely alive, her eyes were open and her breathing was shallow. I got the kids settled in, explained what was happening and sat on the floor next to her and called my dad.
She lived for about 30 more minutes, my dad stayed on the phone with me the whole time, of course...that's just the way he is. Gracie moved around a few times, just slightly. Then all of a sudden she started "making muffins". Her little paws moved back and forth, I think she was trying to comfort herself. Moments later she took a deep breath and sighed. It was over.
She lived a good life. A strange life, I will admit, but she loved the other kitties. She wasn't supposed to live at all and she touched us very deeply. She had a purpose and she was a good kitty....she will be missed.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Updates...sort of
I really should update more often, because by the time I do, there is so much to say, it's a bit overwhelming. But somethings must remain unsaid for the time being, so maybe it's just as well for now.
Nana is still in the nursing home. Unbelievable how hard that decision was to make. She saw the neurologist on Friday and he is wanting to rule out a stroke, so we went for an MRI on Saturday. Hopefully those results will be back tomorrow. She continues to fall, or almost fall since fortunately there is usually a nurse or therapist around to catch her. If she were at home, it would be a matter of time before she would break a hip, so it's just as well.
Then there's Dale. He had his annual physical last week (for the first time in 10 years!) and had some very irregular results come back. VERY irregular. Now I'm not meaning to be a pessimist, but it just doesn't look very promising. He will see a specialist on the 11th, so we will see what happens then.
I have a tendency to complicate things, or at least my emotions tend to. I want and try to do the right things, but that doesn't seem to work out. Perhaps if I could turn my feelings off, it would benefit everyone. But I seem to be incapable of that. So for the time being I continue to fall on my face and try to pull myself up and dust myself off and hope no one noticed...
More soon, and hopefully more honesty as well. So many things I should share, just can't right now.
Nana is still in the nursing home. Unbelievable how hard that decision was to make. She saw the neurologist on Friday and he is wanting to rule out a stroke, so we went for an MRI on Saturday. Hopefully those results will be back tomorrow. She continues to fall, or almost fall since fortunately there is usually a nurse or therapist around to catch her. If she were at home, it would be a matter of time before she would break a hip, so it's just as well.
Then there's Dale. He had his annual physical last week (for the first time in 10 years!) and had some very irregular results come back. VERY irregular. Now I'm not meaning to be a pessimist, but it just doesn't look very promising. He will see a specialist on the 11th, so we will see what happens then.
I have a tendency to complicate things, or at least my emotions tend to. I want and try to do the right things, but that doesn't seem to work out. Perhaps if I could turn my feelings off, it would benefit everyone. But I seem to be incapable of that. So for the time being I continue to fall on my face and try to pull myself up and dust myself off and hope no one noticed...
More soon, and hopefully more honesty as well. So many things I should share, just can't right now.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Blogworthy Subjects
Seems there are a few things I feel are "blogworthy" and I'm not sure where to begin. Unfortunately the kids are still awake and so no blogging will be done right now, but I thought I should at least write down my ideas, for a time when I can sit down and write, so they don't escape me!
1. The things we do for love.
2. Even Johns Hopkins thinks I'm a freak of nature!
3. Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster
4. Walmart Employees with Big Mouths (ok, so this one isn't really worthy of an entire blog, but a funny story just the same, something I'm sure MANY could sympathize with).
OK, there they are....I will sit down very soon (hopefully later tonight) and get started. :)
1. The things we do for love.
2. Even Johns Hopkins thinks I'm a freak of nature!
3. Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster
4. Walmart Employees with Big Mouths (ok, so this one isn't really worthy of an entire blog, but a funny story just the same, something I'm sure MANY could sympathize with).
OK, there they are....I will sit down very soon (hopefully later tonight) and get started. :)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Momma is a Rolling Stone...
Well, since my last entry so much has happened. Those two kidney stones mentioned in my previous post? Both reared their ugly heads. One was blasted to kingdom come by way of lithotripsy, the other decided to surprise me. And let me tell you, lithotripsy is an absolute miracle, a blessing! Granted, you have to go through the whole going to the hospital, anesthesia, IVs and all that mess....but compared to passing a stone naturally? Well, trust me there is no comparison.
So Thursday I had my surgery in Omaha, did very well. Yeah I was a little sore, felt like someone had given me a good, hard kidney punch but I was alright. Monday evening as I was getting ready for work I started feeling a slight pain in my right side. And being WAY too experienced in kidney stones I knew exactly what was happening. I knew there was a very small window of time here before the full attack was going to hit. So I calmly told Dale and the kids what was going on, called in sick to work and went to the bedroom, shut the door and "hunkered down" ready for the worst.
The worst came within 30 minutes. Maybe it's a good thing we forget the pain, because it's the WORST pain ever. I mean the WORST pain. There's no comfortable position you can get in, no few moments of relief (like in labor when you are having contractions) just constant excruciating pain...I had taken some pain pills given to me after my surgery but, well, when pain gets really, really bad....you can't keep anything down. Not even pain pills.
Then came the relief. All the violence associated with passing a stone (yes, I said violence and I meant it) moved the stone along and it found a new resting place in a more comfortable spot. And the pain subsided and I passed out. Finally.
Now, the doctor told me a few years ago that if I had ANY more stones, we were going to do surgery (yes ANOTHER surgery). We needed to stop this, I was having way to many of these. Let's see, my first stone was in 1997 (and that was a story in itself!) and I have had 5 since then. So evidently there is a "gland" in my neck called the Parathyroid Gland. Its produces calcium and apparently I produce WAY too much of it, which creates these little gems. So we gotta take it out. We've tried diet change, medication, neither of which works. There's really no dangerous affects from this surgery, so I say do it and save me from having anymore stones! I go back to the doctor in a few weeks and we will go from there.
Yes, I am much better, although my VERY lengthy medical leave has turned into a resignation. In the past 5 months I've had 3 surgeries/procedures and passed 2 kidney stones. It's time to concentrate on getting well and getting my life back in order. As you can imagine, order has not been a number one priority around here for quite some time! The kids love my being at home, the house is cleaner, meals are being cooked and the kids are actually being picked up when and where they are supposed to be!
So there ya have it....hopefully there will be no more kidney stone blogs. Maybe some recovery blogs? Maybe some vacation blogs? Maybe some happy news blogs? Yes, good stuff....it's about time.
So Thursday I had my surgery in Omaha, did very well. Yeah I was a little sore, felt like someone had given me a good, hard kidney punch but I was alright. Monday evening as I was getting ready for work I started feeling a slight pain in my right side. And being WAY too experienced in kidney stones I knew exactly what was happening. I knew there was a very small window of time here before the full attack was going to hit. So I calmly told Dale and the kids what was going on, called in sick to work and went to the bedroom, shut the door and "hunkered down" ready for the worst.
The worst came within 30 minutes. Maybe it's a good thing we forget the pain, because it's the WORST pain ever. I mean the WORST pain. There's no comfortable position you can get in, no few moments of relief (like in labor when you are having contractions) just constant excruciating pain...I had taken some pain pills given to me after my surgery but, well, when pain gets really, really bad....you can't keep anything down. Not even pain pills.
Then came the relief. All the violence associated with passing a stone (yes, I said violence and I meant it) moved the stone along and it found a new resting place in a more comfortable spot. And the pain subsided and I passed out. Finally.
Now, the doctor told me a few years ago that if I had ANY more stones, we were going to do surgery (yes ANOTHER surgery). We needed to stop this, I was having way to many of these. Let's see, my first stone was in 1997 (and that was a story in itself!) and I have had 5 since then. So evidently there is a "gland" in my neck called the Parathyroid Gland. Its produces calcium and apparently I produce WAY too much of it, which creates these little gems. So we gotta take it out. We've tried diet change, medication, neither of which works. There's really no dangerous affects from this surgery, so I say do it and save me from having anymore stones! I go back to the doctor in a few weeks and we will go from there.
Yes, I am much better, although my VERY lengthy medical leave has turned into a resignation. In the past 5 months I've had 3 surgeries/procedures and passed 2 kidney stones. It's time to concentrate on getting well and getting my life back in order. As you can imagine, order has not been a number one priority around here for quite some time! The kids love my being at home, the house is cleaner, meals are being cooked and the kids are actually being picked up when and where they are supposed to be!
So there ya have it....hopefully there will be no more kidney stone blogs. Maybe some recovery blogs? Maybe some vacation blogs? Maybe some happy news blogs? Yes, good stuff....it's about time.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Is That Sunshine I See?
Keep it on the sunny side, right? Yeah, we do the best we can around here! But on the plus side the kids and I got to take a walk yesterday (yea warmer weather!) and it's actually supposed to get up to 73 today!! It's been a LONG time comin'! (I use WAY too many song references, don't I? Blame it on my Dad!)
Well, I got my CAT scan results back. Typical me...good grief! Kidney stones in BOTH kidneys and cysts on BOTH ovaries. I just can't keep it simple, can I? Luckily the stones aren't obstructing anything yet and the cysts aren't too big. So that's a plus! I've had kidney stones 3 times before and talk about unpleasant! So let's all just think SMALL! :) My scope is tomorrow, so maybe I will know more then.
I've been playing around on Facebook alot lately. OK so maybe I am bordering on an addiction, but it's so much fun! Catching up with people I haven't seen in a million years, keeping up with current friends. I find I talk to my brother and sister so much more because of Facebook. Convenient, maybe, but it's just so nice to be in eachother's life more regularly. I'm finding that people that I was friends with back in school are still just as dear to me, that time hasn't hurt the friendship. I'm glad to have found them again, and been able to rebuild wonderful friendships.
So I worked last night, alone. Yup, it happens sometimes. My coworker called in sick so it was 41 residents and me. A friend of mine told me he hoped I would have an "uneventful" night. I don't think I ever have an "uneventful" night, considering where I work, but it wasn't bad at all. I had plenty to keep me busy and the usual residents that get up every night coming by to get a drink of water, ask (for the millionth time) what time they can shower, complaining about their roommate, little things like that. My favorite time of the shift is around 5am when they begin to wake up, come get their cup of coffee and say good morning to me. They always go out of their way to say good morning and when I leave they always say good bye and to sleep well. They have gone through so much in their lives, and continue to do so. But moments like that, you forget why they are there. They are just like the rest of us (some are much saner than a few people I've met on the outside!) going about their business, starting their day. Gotta love 'em.
So yes, that is Sunshine I see, but now I must go to sleep and see the inside of my eyelids! :)
Well, I got my CAT scan results back. Typical me...good grief! Kidney stones in BOTH kidneys and cysts on BOTH ovaries. I just can't keep it simple, can I? Luckily the stones aren't obstructing anything yet and the cysts aren't too big. So that's a plus! I've had kidney stones 3 times before and talk about unpleasant! So let's all just think SMALL! :) My scope is tomorrow, so maybe I will know more then.
I've been playing around on Facebook alot lately. OK so maybe I am bordering on an addiction, but it's so much fun! Catching up with people I haven't seen in a million years, keeping up with current friends. I find I talk to my brother and sister so much more because of Facebook. Convenient, maybe, but it's just so nice to be in eachother's life more regularly. I'm finding that people that I was friends with back in school are still just as dear to me, that time hasn't hurt the friendship. I'm glad to have found them again, and been able to rebuild wonderful friendships.
So I worked last night, alone. Yup, it happens sometimes. My coworker called in sick so it was 41 residents and me. A friend of mine told me he hoped I would have an "uneventful" night. I don't think I ever have an "uneventful" night, considering where I work, but it wasn't bad at all. I had plenty to keep me busy and the usual residents that get up every night coming by to get a drink of water, ask (for the millionth time) what time they can shower, complaining about their roommate, little things like that. My favorite time of the shift is around 5am when they begin to wake up, come get their cup of coffee and say good morning to me. They always go out of their way to say good morning and when I leave they always say good bye and to sleep well. They have gone through so much in their lives, and continue to do so. But moments like that, you forget why they are there. They are just like the rest of us (some are much saner than a few people I've met on the outside!) going about their business, starting their day. Gotta love 'em.
So yes, that is Sunshine I see, but now I must go to sleep and see the inside of my eyelids! :)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
It's Been A While!
My friend, Kari, told me today that she missed my blogs. I realized, I do too! What a good outlet for me, I think I don't have time for this, but if it's good for me, I should do it. So try again I will, to do this for myself. It's been a year since I last "blogged" and so much has happened, I can't even begin to catch up....so I will just start anew.
I went to the doctor today. I'm almost 8 weeks post surgery (hysterectomy) and am doing very well, well sort of. A few weeks ago at work while I was trying to be superwoman moving tables and buffing floors, I started to pee blood (ok, stop now if you just don't want to know this much about me!) This went on for a few days and I went to my primary care physician. She couldn't figure out what was up...there was blood but no infection. So she referred me to a urologist. I went to see him today and although he had no answers, he did want to do some tests. To begin with, I have to get a CAT scan tomorrow. And joy of joys, I get to drink these two HUGE (well, 16oz) bottles of "berry flavored" barium tonight. Berry flavored chalk more like it! And then nothing to eat after 9pm. When I get to the hospital tomorrow, more "berry chalk" and then an IV wth dye. Once that is over I will go to the lab for some labwork ("to rule out cancer", he says ever so calmly). Then, on March 17th I get to have a cystoscopy. A scope put up into my bladder to see how it looks from the inside! Now, some will tell you, this is no big deal...but I'm so sorry, tubes just should not go in certain places, and that's one of those places!! I've actually had two scopes before, when I had kidney stones and did not handle it very well. I was awake both times and that was just WRONG! I guess we all have our things. For some it's needles, for me it's scopes. So after some begging and pleading, he agreed to do it under general anesthesia. YEA! Now that's the best news I got at the doctor's office!
So, that's my update. For now. I'm planning on LOTS of good news from these tests. I'm sure I just overdid it, so soon after surgery and all is fine now. I'm not in pain, and I feel like if something were terribly wrong, I would hurt.
More to come...
I went to the doctor today. I'm almost 8 weeks post surgery (hysterectomy) and am doing very well, well sort of. A few weeks ago at work while I was trying to be superwoman moving tables and buffing floors, I started to pee blood (ok, stop now if you just don't want to know this much about me!) This went on for a few days and I went to my primary care physician. She couldn't figure out what was up...there was blood but no infection. So she referred me to a urologist. I went to see him today and although he had no answers, he did want to do some tests. To begin with, I have to get a CAT scan tomorrow. And joy of joys, I get to drink these two HUGE (well, 16oz) bottles of "berry flavored" barium tonight. Berry flavored chalk more like it! And then nothing to eat after 9pm. When I get to the hospital tomorrow, more "berry chalk" and then an IV wth dye. Once that is over I will go to the lab for some labwork ("to rule out cancer", he says ever so calmly). Then, on March 17th I get to have a cystoscopy. A scope put up into my bladder to see how it looks from the inside! Now, some will tell you, this is no big deal...but I'm so sorry, tubes just should not go in certain places, and that's one of those places!! I've actually had two scopes before, when I had kidney stones and did not handle it very well. I was awake both times and that was just WRONG! I guess we all have our things. For some it's needles, for me it's scopes. So after some begging and pleading, he agreed to do it under general anesthesia. YEA! Now that's the best news I got at the doctor's office!
So, that's my update. For now. I'm planning on LOTS of good news from these tests. I'm sure I just overdid it, so soon after surgery and all is fine now. I'm not in pain, and I feel like if something were terribly wrong, I would hurt.
More to come...
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Music
I have to share a story. For those of you who don't know, I direct the choir and bells at my church. My kids sit with my mom in the congregation so I can do these things. My mom has told me several times that when the choir is singing, Matthew sits in the congregation and hums all the way through the songs. Very cute.
Well, Sunday I was directing the bells. When I'm directing the bells I stand in the middle aisle of the sanctuary a few rows back, about even to where my kids and mom sit. While I was directing I could hear this little voice humming and softly singing along. I got so tickled and wanted so much to turn around and look but I knew I'd lose my place in the music! But it was so nice to know that my little ones enjoy the music as much as I do.
We are blessed in so many ways. I was blessed by the beautiful job the bells were doing and by this sweet little voice humming along.
Well, Sunday I was directing the bells. When I'm directing the bells I stand in the middle aisle of the sanctuary a few rows back, about even to where my kids and mom sit. While I was directing I could hear this little voice humming and softly singing along. I got so tickled and wanted so much to turn around and look but I knew I'd lose my place in the music! But it was so nice to know that my little ones enjoy the music as much as I do.
We are blessed in so many ways. I was blessed by the beautiful job the bells were doing and by this sweet little voice humming along.
Boredom!!
And this is what happens when you've had WAY too much snow, you have cabin fever and are bored to death!!
We sit in the sink.......
We watch the moon.....actually this was the eclipse. The kids had their little chairs set in front of the big window, popcorn bowls in their laps, watching the eclipse. This lasted about 5 minutes.
We spend way too much time on the computer....
and....
We take pictures of ourselves being bored....
Hurry Up Spring!!
We sit in the sink.......
We watch the moon.....actually this was the eclipse. The kids had their little chairs set in front of the big window, popcorn bowls in their laps, watching the eclipse. This lasted about 5 minutes.
We spend way too much time on the computer....
and....
We take pictures of ourselves being bored....
Hurry Up Spring!!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Calming Down
At least it seems that way. The kids are recovered. Rachael is back in school and had a wonderful first day back. In fact, she said it was her best birthday ever. After school she had dance practice then we had her favorite, spaghetti for dinner. By then she was completely exhausted and went to sleep without a bit of trouble.
I got a gift for Rachael's birthday too! My dad bought me a new digital camera. My old one was 4 years old and in digital camera years that's pretty antiquated. His rationale for buying me a new camera (other than the other one just pooped out) was that we all benefit from my camera, I regularly send pictures to him of the kids, etc. So he benefits as well. Anyway, I'm sure there will be lots more pictures as I play with my new toy!
I'm still working on my friendships, relationships and am taking a good hard look at myself in the process. I will update as I learn more (and I hope I do!). A dear friend of mine wrote in her blog recently , "But, if GOD is listening right now, I would just like to point out, that I really think I am strong enough now. No more lessons for that are necessary…okay? And by the way, I think I have the patience thing down too, so no more lessons for that either, okay?" I'm feeling that too....seems we keep having to learn lesson after lesson....it never ends! By the way, she's got a great blog! Worth checking out. She's a fantastic writer and is working on a collection of short stories. I hope you don't mind the plug, Julie, but you rock! Both as a friend and as a writer! Check her out at: Julie Ann Writes
Well, both kids are at school. I've got to run and get valentine party supplies for BOTH classes. Parties on Thursday and Friday!
Oh and for the record, I'm still smoke free! Granted, being sick probably helped the cause, my coughing has been so bad I can't imagine smoking! But look at my counter!! I'm doing it! Yea Me!
I got a gift for Rachael's birthday too! My dad bought me a new digital camera. My old one was 4 years old and in digital camera years that's pretty antiquated. His rationale for buying me a new camera (other than the other one just pooped out) was that we all benefit from my camera, I regularly send pictures to him of the kids, etc. So he benefits as well. Anyway, I'm sure there will be lots more pictures as I play with my new toy!
I'm still working on my friendships, relationships and am taking a good hard look at myself in the process. I will update as I learn more (and I hope I do!). A dear friend of mine wrote in her blog recently , "But, if GOD is listening right now, I would just like to point out, that I really think I am strong enough now. No more lessons for that are necessary…okay? And by the way, I think I have the patience thing down too, so no more lessons for that either, okay?" I'm feeling that too....seems we keep having to learn lesson after lesson....it never ends! By the way, she's got a great blog! Worth checking out. She's a fantastic writer and is working on a collection of short stories. I hope you don't mind the plug, Julie, but you rock! Both as a friend and as a writer! Check her out at: Julie Ann Writes
Well, both kids are at school. I've got to run and get valentine party supplies for BOTH classes. Parties on Thursday and Friday!
Oh and for the record, I'm still smoke free! Granted, being sick probably helped the cause, my coughing has been so bad I can't imagine smoking! But look at my counter!! I'm doing it! Yea Me!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Happy Birthday Boo!
Today is Rachael's 7th birthday. My how they grow. She has turned into a beautiful, sweet, smart and funny girl. I love her so. :)
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
The Saga Continues...
Well, Matthew is better. Rachael is improving but still has a fever and is exhausted. We're on the back end of this though (I think) and that's great. I may survive! I'm not sick yet, YEA! Grandad will be here in 2 days and we might just be germ free by then! We've had bunches of snow here and schools have been closed so at least the kids haven't "missed" much school. Since they are feeling better they are now bored and bickering. Maybe the sleeping all day was better! I can imagine that Rae will be out of school the rest of the week, since her fever is still 101-102. Matthew could have gone back today but of course the snow kept him here.
So I fell off the wagon (so to speak). I smoked. Not much, granted, only 1-2 a day (for the past few days) but I realized I couldn't do it without the patch. I became rather irritable and nervous! The state of Iowa offers 2 weeks of free patches and I got them yesterday, so here I go again! I'm not giving up on this one!
So I fell off the wagon (so to speak). I smoked. Not much, granted, only 1-2 a day (for the past few days) but I realized I couldn't do it without the patch. I became rather irritable and nervous! The state of Iowa offers 2 weeks of free patches and I got them yesterday, so here I go again! I'm not giving up on this one!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Another Day in Paradise
Well, it's Monday now. Both kids are now officially sick. Matthew continued to get worse and when his fever reached 104 I hauled him off to the ER. His cough had not improved at all (perhaps it was even worse!) and he had been running a fever for going on 3 days. I had my fill. Of course, it was in the middle of the night. Isn't that when all crazy, exhausted moms take their kids to the ER?
So, let me tell you about my ER visit. When we got there Matthew was actually feeling a little better because I had given him some Ibuprofen which completely hypes him up. I supposed that's not terribly convincing to the doctors when I say he's completely lethargic and has been sleeping 20 hours a day. We did the typical check in, it all went relatively well. We were the only ones there (one of the perks of a small town). I couldn't help but think of my dear friend who runs an ER in Houston Texas. He would be shell-shocked to enter an ER at midnight on a Saturday night and it be empty!
Well, we waited a very few minutes when the doctor came in, or at least I suppose it was the doctor. Given he had no identification on him and he didn't bother to introduce himself, who really knows? He sat down in front of Matthew and kept telling him to move closer so he could listen to his chest. "I'm not going to bend over, my back hurts. You are going to have to scoot over here!" Ugh.
Well. After a very thorough (HA!) 2 minute examination he determined that there was nothing wrong with Matthew. Granted, he had 104 fever and he was coughing up a lung. But it would pass in a week or so. Thank you and goodnight.
I was livid. I guess since I've worked in hospitals before (or maybe just because I'm human) I was so put out by this visit! I mean, seriously. Nothing wrong? Granted, perhaps it's not pneumonia and we had ruled out flu, but nothing? How about a little compassion and bedside manner? Even a "continue to give him the medicine you are giving him, make sure he gets lots of rest and call your doctor if he doesn't improve in a few days" would have been better than "There's nothing wrong with him." See, Scott? There's incompetence in every ER.
OK. So he leaves and I did think to ask the nurse what his name is. I'll be calling my family physician about this one.
We got home around 2am and I finally managed to fall asleep in time to get up for church in the morning.
To be continued....
So, let me tell you about my ER visit. When we got there Matthew was actually feeling a little better because I had given him some Ibuprofen which completely hypes him up. I supposed that's not terribly convincing to the doctors when I say he's completely lethargic and has been sleeping 20 hours a day. We did the typical check in, it all went relatively well. We were the only ones there (one of the perks of a small town). I couldn't help but think of my dear friend who runs an ER in Houston Texas. He would be shell-shocked to enter an ER at midnight on a Saturday night and it be empty!
Well, we waited a very few minutes when the doctor came in, or at least I suppose it was the doctor. Given he had no identification on him and he didn't bother to introduce himself, who really knows? He sat down in front of Matthew and kept telling him to move closer so he could listen to his chest. "I'm not going to bend over, my back hurts. You are going to have to scoot over here!" Ugh.
Well. After a very thorough (HA!) 2 minute examination he determined that there was nothing wrong with Matthew. Granted, he had 104 fever and he was coughing up a lung. But it would pass in a week or so. Thank you and goodnight.
I was livid. I guess since I've worked in hospitals before (or maybe just because I'm human) I was so put out by this visit! I mean, seriously. Nothing wrong? Granted, perhaps it's not pneumonia and we had ruled out flu, but nothing? How about a little compassion and bedside manner? Even a "continue to give him the medicine you are giving him, make sure he gets lots of rest and call your doctor if he doesn't improve in a few days" would have been better than "There's nothing wrong with him." See, Scott? There's incompetence in every ER.
OK. So he leaves and I did think to ask the nurse what his name is. I'll be calling my family physician about this one.
We got home around 2am and I finally managed to fall asleep in time to get up for church in the morning.
To be continued....
Friday, February 1, 2008
Keep A Bucket in the Car
There are so many joys to motherhood...so many I could spend a lifetime and never name them all. But let me tell ya. I don't do sick kids. I guess it's a good thing mine are rarely sick, because I'd probably have to hire a nurse! I mean seriously, the whining, the crying, the wanting to be carried everywhere, the various excrements! You can have it.
Can you tell I have a sick kid? Yup. Matthew woke me up Wednesday night in the middle of the night fussing. I took him downstairs to lay on the couch (so I'm not the perfect mother who puts them straight back in bed!) and noticed he had a fever. Not a bad one, but one nonetheless. He was coughing a little but nothing alarming.
The next morning he was no better so I made him an appointment with our doctor. There's just too much pneumonia and flu going around to not be careful. He was tested negative for the flu (thankfully!) and given cough medicine for the cough. He slept most of the day and when it was time to get Rae from school we piled up in the car and headed on to get her.
I guess it was a combination of the cough medicine and the bump-bump of the car but Matthew was getting sicker, and fast! We ran by the bank and while in the drive-thru, Matthew unloaded, literally....all over the backseat. Poor Rachael, I thought she was going to climb in the glove compartment!
He felt better after and ended up sleeping the rest of the day and night. He's still got fever, cough, but at least the sleep will help. We'll see how this all turns out. I see visions of an entire household being down!
Can you tell I have a sick kid? Yup. Matthew woke me up Wednesday night in the middle of the night fussing. I took him downstairs to lay on the couch (so I'm not the perfect mother who puts them straight back in bed!) and noticed he had a fever. Not a bad one, but one nonetheless. He was coughing a little but nothing alarming.
The next morning he was no better so I made him an appointment with our doctor. There's just too much pneumonia and flu going around to not be careful. He was tested negative for the flu (thankfully!) and given cough medicine for the cough. He slept most of the day and when it was time to get Rae from school we piled up in the car and headed on to get her.
I guess it was a combination of the cough medicine and the bump-bump of the car but Matthew was getting sicker, and fast! We ran by the bank and while in the drive-thru, Matthew unloaded, literally....all over the backseat. Poor Rachael, I thought she was going to climb in the glove compartment!
He felt better after and ended up sleeping the rest of the day and night. He's still got fever, cough, but at least the sleep will help. We'll see how this all turns out. I see visions of an entire household being down!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
There's A Mouse In the House!
So yesterday was a beautiful day. Temps in the 50's. Kids played outside, I cleaned out the car. I even opened up the windows in the house and opened up the sunroom!
After we got inside from playing, as I was walking down the hall, I saw this small "something" on the floor and dismissed it as a big leaf that one of the kids dragged in. My hands were full of laundry so I just walked past it. A few minutes later I was fixing dinner and noticed it in the kitchen. Rachael said, "What is that?" I said, "Oh it's just a leaf" and reached down and picked it up. It was not a leaf. It was a dead baby mouse. One of the cats must have found it in the sun room and dragged it in the house.
Now, typically I would have not freaked out. A few years ago, yes. But over the past few years I've had many animals to take care of, watched my hamster give birth and helped with baby hamsters (this mouse was about the size of a newborn hamster) and of course have given birth...twice. Not much scares me anymore. Anyway, I'm used to animals, so normally I would have just scooped it up (although probably not with my bare hands!) and thrown it out. But I totally freaked out! I think when you expect a leaf and it's this cold, damp, critter....I don't know. It was just funny ( looking back on it). Rachael sure thought it was funny. Teased me about it all night.
Of course then I had to wonder...where did it come from (although I'm sure it was the sunroom, there are boxes out there, etc) and are there more? If there are more I'm sure we will find them once the weather warms up and the sun room stays open most of the time.
In the meantime, the house is closed back up. We got a cold front through last night and the windchill is -5 right now. We are expecting 1-2 inches of snow, which would be fine except they are calling for "blizzard-like winds" and "snow drifts". It's days like this I hate to send Rae to school (although I did) because I hate the thought of what it will be like when school gets out!
After we got inside from playing, as I was walking down the hall, I saw this small "something" on the floor and dismissed it as a big leaf that one of the kids dragged in. My hands were full of laundry so I just walked past it. A few minutes later I was fixing dinner and noticed it in the kitchen. Rachael said, "What is that?" I said, "Oh it's just a leaf" and reached down and picked it up. It was not a leaf. It was a dead baby mouse. One of the cats must have found it in the sun room and dragged it in the house.
Now, typically I would have not freaked out. A few years ago, yes. But over the past few years I've had many animals to take care of, watched my hamster give birth and helped with baby hamsters (this mouse was about the size of a newborn hamster) and of course have given birth...twice. Not much scares me anymore. Anyway, I'm used to animals, so normally I would have just scooped it up (although probably not with my bare hands!) and thrown it out. But I totally freaked out! I think when you expect a leaf and it's this cold, damp, critter....I don't know. It was just funny ( looking back on it). Rachael sure thought it was funny. Teased me about it all night.
Of course then I had to wonder...where did it come from (although I'm sure it was the sunroom, there are boxes out there, etc) and are there more? If there are more I'm sure we will find them once the weather warms up and the sun room stays open most of the time.
In the meantime, the house is closed back up. We got a cold front through last night and the windchill is -5 right now. We are expecting 1-2 inches of snow, which would be fine except they are calling for "blizzard-like winds" and "snow drifts". It's days like this I hate to send Rae to school (although I did) because I hate the thought of what it will be like when school gets out!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Before I Was A Mom
I got this in my email today and thought it was great. And true....
Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
Birthday Parties and Snow Play
We had a busy weekend, but as one of my friends says, "it's better to keep moving!" That tends to be especially true for me even though sometimes all I want to do is doze on the couch!
We went to a birthday party on Saturday for a friend of mine's daughter (that's GOT to be bad grammar, but oh well!). It was at the bowling alley and we had a really good time. Rachael and I had a chance to bowl a little together (Matthew was MUCH more interested in the arcade). I realized it had been a good 15 years since I had bowled! I had forgotten how much I enjoyed bowling, although I must admit I don't remember ever bowling (as an adult) without drinking beer! Seemed a little odd to be bowling with Orange soda! But such is the life of a Mommy!
After the party we were able to play outside for a while. It was in the upper 30's (the beginning of a heatwave!) and the kids enjoyed sledding down our hill. We did manage to get out again yesterday and do the same and the temperature was into the 40's! But never fear, it will be back into the teens by tonight with a snow forecast for tomorrow. Too good to last!
Yesterday at church the hand bell choir played for the first time under the direction of their new director...me! They were awesome. Who wouldn't want to direct a group as great as they are?! It was a bit hectic yesterday, I was directing and ushering but it always seems to come together.
So here we are, back to Monday. My day "off". I'm headed to take Matthew to school and then off to the gym. There will be housecleaning to be done (is that ever NOT the case?) but I'm taking it easy today.
One day and counting smoke free.....getting nervous. I realize how hard this will be, but I'm really dedicated to this. I've got friends keeping me accountable, along with Rachael and my Dad....what a cheering squad!
We went to a birthday party on Saturday for a friend of mine's daughter (that's GOT to be bad grammar, but oh well!). It was at the bowling alley and we had a really good time. Rachael and I had a chance to bowl a little together (Matthew was MUCH more interested in the arcade). I realized it had been a good 15 years since I had bowled! I had forgotten how much I enjoyed bowling, although I must admit I don't remember ever bowling (as an adult) without drinking beer! Seemed a little odd to be bowling with Orange soda! But such is the life of a Mommy!
After the party we were able to play outside for a while. It was in the upper 30's (the beginning of a heatwave!) and the kids enjoyed sledding down our hill. We did manage to get out again yesterday and do the same and the temperature was into the 40's! But never fear, it will be back into the teens by tonight with a snow forecast for tomorrow. Too good to last!
Yesterday at church the hand bell choir played for the first time under the direction of their new director...me! They were awesome. Who wouldn't want to direct a group as great as they are?! It was a bit hectic yesterday, I was directing and ushering but it always seems to come together.
So here we are, back to Monday. My day "off". I'm headed to take Matthew to school and then off to the gym. There will be housecleaning to be done (is that ever NOT the case?) but I'm taking it easy today.
One day and counting smoke free.....getting nervous. I realize how hard this will be, but I'm really dedicated to this. I've got friends keeping me accountable, along with Rachael and my Dad....what a cheering squad!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Good, Clean, Healthy Living
So as I had mentioned before, I joined a "Lighten Up Iowa" team to lose weight and get in shape. I logged in my first week and have lost 3 pounds. Yea me!! Of course that's only the beginning. But I've worked out quite a bit this week and worked HARD. I can't get to the gym as often as I like. I try to go MWF while Matthew is at school and I stay about an hour. I feel good about that.
HOWEVER, the real challenge begins now. As most of you know I am a smoker. Not a very heavy smoker, but a smoker none-the-less. I have been a smoker for a good (so to speak) 20 years, with the exception of both times I was pregnant when I did not smoke out all. Rachael has voiced her concerns about my smoking several times and although I knew she was right, I just stayed in denial. It was obvious she was embarrassed. If she saw a pack laying around somewhere, she would put something on top of them so they weren't out in plain view.
On Wednesday I did my usual weekly volunteering at Rachael's school. The kids have gotten to know me well and usually will hug me when I get there and again when I leave. After Rachael got home from school that day she told me that one of her classmates asked her if I smoked. Rachael told her no.
So, that's it. I told her when I finished what I have (about 1/2 pack left) I was buying no more. When I have quit before I've always done it cold turkey and done fine. Plus I've been known to go for days without when I was on a trip or something. So I know I can do it. But, losing weight and quitting smoking all at once. This WILL be a challenge.
I'll keep you updated.
HOWEVER, the real challenge begins now. As most of you know I am a smoker. Not a very heavy smoker, but a smoker none-the-less. I have been a smoker for a good (so to speak) 20 years, with the exception of both times I was pregnant when I did not smoke out all. Rachael has voiced her concerns about my smoking several times and although I knew she was right, I just stayed in denial. It was obvious she was embarrassed. If she saw a pack laying around somewhere, she would put something on top of them so they weren't out in plain view.
On Wednesday I did my usual weekly volunteering at Rachael's school. The kids have gotten to know me well and usually will hug me when I get there and again when I leave. After Rachael got home from school that day she told me that one of her classmates asked her if I smoked. Rachael told her no.
So, that's it. I told her when I finished what I have (about 1/2 pack left) I was buying no more. When I have quit before I've always done it cold turkey and done fine. Plus I've been known to go for days without when I was on a trip or something. So I know I can do it. But, losing weight and quitting smoking all at once. This WILL be a challenge.
I'll keep you updated.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Countdown Clock and Picture
Thanks, Kari for the idea of the countdown clock. I'm SO sick of snow and it's nice to watch the seconds tick away until spring. Although I don't feel much sympathy for you (as far as counting down until spring) considering you live WAY DOWN SOUTH! :)
Also, just a little picture her I took of Matthew last night. He was just so cute sitting there in his warmies, reading the dictionary. I'm truly blessed.
A Good Day
Today was a good day. Rachael was out of school today so we had to make some plans! Once we dropped Matthew off at preschool we went to the YMCA. She played in the playroom while I worked out. I've joined the "Lighten Up Iowa" group not only to drop a few pounds but to get in better shape. So this was a great chance to get some exercise in. Once I had worked out for a while I went and got her and we walked the track together for a while. We still had some time to kill so we went into one of the empty gyms to play basketball. We had a great time!
We picked up Matthew and headed to Subway for lunch. It's been snowing all day but that doesn't keep the lunch crowd away! The place was packed but we managed to get our food and visit with a few people from church that we ran into.
Then, we headed back to the Y for a few hours in the pool. They had a blast! Matthew gets to go to the pool occasionally with his preschool class, but it had been a while since Rachael had been able to go. It seemed funny to me, these kids playing in the pool and you could look outside and see the snow falling. I guess I haven't lived in Iowa long enough for that to not seem strange to me!
My plan worked....well, partially. Rachael was sound asleep by 8:30 (even though she slept in this morning). Matthew, however is still going strong, playing in his bed at 9:20pm.
My initial thought, when planning all the activities at the YMCA today was for the kids to have fun. To my surprise, I had just as much fun. :)
We picked up Matthew and headed to Subway for lunch. It's been snowing all day but that doesn't keep the lunch crowd away! The place was packed but we managed to get our food and visit with a few people from church that we ran into.
Then, we headed back to the Y for a few hours in the pool. They had a blast! Matthew gets to go to the pool occasionally with his preschool class, but it had been a while since Rachael had been able to go. It seemed funny to me, these kids playing in the pool and you could look outside and see the snow falling. I guess I haven't lived in Iowa long enough for that to not seem strange to me!
My plan worked....well, partially. Rachael was sound asleep by 8:30 (even though she slept in this morning). Matthew, however is still going strong, playing in his bed at 9:20pm.
My initial thought, when planning all the activities at the YMCA today was for the kids to have fun. To my surprise, I had just as much fun. :)
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